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Erased Mom

What you need to know

New trauma neuropathways (the subconscious highways that lead to our habits) are built into us when our body takes over to protect from an overwhelming event.  (A disadvantage of having a big human brain is our tendency to overthink, especially after traumatic experiences.) These neuropathways can make us feel hypervigilant, lose our sense of self, affect our ability to regulate emotions, and navigate relationships. The good news is we can learn how to build new neuropathways that leave trauma habits abandoned. 

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​Complex or chronic trauma results from multiple traumatic events. Instead of one faulty neuropathway, our brain neuropathways can resemble a bowl of spaghetti. In the context of relationships, chronic traumatic events can leave us feeling numb with a hardened heart.

 

Often people don't realize they have experienced trauma from relationships. However, due to those relationships they develop habits that complicate life and leave them in a constant state of dysregulation. It may seem as though they don't recognize their own thoughts and actions when the mind and body start working to protect.

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Relational trauma develops when someone close to us knows we are suffering, and is either intentionally hurting us, or not taking action to relieve our suffering when they could. Severity of trauma is increased by closeness of the toxic relationship. Those who are betrayed by people they loved, trusted, or relied on have the most difficulty after the trauma when they attempt to build relationships and manage life challenges. To heal we must practice self-awareness, nurture self-care, enhance self-regulation, discover self-worth, empower personal strength, set healthy boundaries, and foster clear communication for resilience, success, and healthy relationships.

 

As your teacher, coach, mentor, and guide I can help you understand what is happening in your body. Together we can work to rewire your nervous system and retrain you to build foundations for healthy relationships and set attainable goals.

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If this is you... let's get your heart listening and loving again.

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What to look for

Some patterns in people with a history of complex trauma:

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  • Lack of self-awareness (feeling numb)

  • Fear of trusting people, yet desiring to trust people.

  • Loneliness and Isolation

  • Difficulty regulating emotions

  • Emotional flashbacks

  • Memory problems

  • Hypervigilance

  • Loss of Faith and Hope

  • Unmet needs drive behavior

  • Intense Shame and Guilt

  • Self-blame 

  • Lack of personal Worthiness

  • Dissociated

  • Anxiety without specific obvious reasons.

We each have a "Window of Tolerance (WOT)", that is a metaphor for our individual habits in managing stressful situations and self-regulating. We unconsciously park in one of these windows.  

Which Window Is Home For You?

What Effect Does Toxic Stress Have on your Body?

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  • Decreased cognitive processing

  • Reality checking reduced

  • Decreased memory function

  • Reduced ability to inhibit behavior

  • Little or no logic

  • Little reasoning

  • Poor planning

  • Poor follow through

  • Difficulty creating priorities

  • hypervigilance

  • cortisol issues

  • cortisol interference with protein synthesis at the cellular level

  • sleep issues

  • digestive issues

  • phantom pains

You might need additional support and medication BUT...

There are complete predictable, absolutely correct biological responses to REDUCTIONS in biochemicals and we can find ways to increase them naturally. Signs are:

Reduced Dopamine

  • Procrastination

  • Low self-esteem

  • Lack of motivation

  • Low energy or fatigue

  • Inability to focus

  • Feeling anxious

  • Feeling hopeless

  • Mood Swings

Reduced Serotonin

  • Low self esteem

  • Overly sensitive (emotionally reactive)

  • Anxiety/panic attacks

  • Feeling hopeless/helpless

  • Obsession/compulsions

  • Insomnia

Reduced Oxytoin

  • Feeling lonely

  • Stressed

  • Feeling alienated

  • Lack of motivation

  • Disconnected from relationships

  • Feeling anxious

  • Insomnia

Reduced Endorphin

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • More intense Aches and pains

  • Mood swings

  • Insomnia

  • Impulsive behavior

  • More inflammation

There are completely predictable, absolutely correct biological responses to INCREASES in biochemicals and ways for you to decrease them naturally. Signs are:

Nor-Adrenalin

  • Increased anger and agitation

  • Aggression

  • Assertiveness

  • Controlling

  • Hostility

  • Interference with emotional learning

  • Reduced empathy

Adrenalin

  • Increased fear

  • Anxiety

  • Desire to flee

  • Desire to withdraw

  • Reduced attending/focus

  • Hyperactivity

Cortisol

  • Reduces Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins

  • Reduces reality checking

  • Reduces executive function

  • Reduces ability to stop/inhibit behavior

  • Reduces logic and reasoning

  • Interrupts forming sequential memory

Problems with any of the above?
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